In Contrast

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This is a stark contrast to the video in my last blog post. It portrays normal, peaceful birth. Take a look; share your thoughts. I believe it speaks just as strong as the previous video, but it has a different message. This is what so many cesarean survivors want. Some will never experience a normal birth. Others will. But the cesarean birth never really leaves you. It stays written on the hearts of mothers forever.

What Does This Say To You?

I would love to know how this video speaks to you.



What it says to me: it honors the fact that not every woman has a great experience with a cesarean birth. So, so many times, women who have had a difficult time after a cesarean are told that they should just be happy they have a healthy baby, or that they should be thankful for the life-saving surgery. Or worse, it is often suggested that they just "get over it". Birth matters to women. It is not just a small blip on the radar screen of life. When we are told to minimize our hurt, grief, and anger it trivializes our experience. My experience is as different as the next woman's. And that's ok. But don't tell me that it's not ok to hurt, to be angry, to grieve and I won't tell you it's not ok to have major abdominal surgery if you choose it.

My body, my birth, my choice.

You do not have to ask permission to use your own vagina

It is yours to use as you please, and that includes birthing your baby through it. In conversations with other women about pregnancy, all too often phrases crop up such as "My doctor won't let me ____." This is where you insert any item of the long list of things doctors won't "let" women do. Doctors say it, too. Picture this: a woman waits in an exam room for the doctor. Today she is going to go over her birth plan. She does not want a routine IV, among other unnecessary interventions. The doctor says "I can't let you do that." So she consents to a heplock instead. And that is if her doctor is open-minded and flexible.

My doctor won't let me have intermittent monitoring.
My doctor won't let me eat or drink during labor.
My doctor won't let me walk after my water breaks.
My doctor won't let me labor longer than hours.
My doctor won't let me push longer than hours.
My doctor won't let me push in any other position except on my back.
My doctor won't let me have a doula.
My doctor won't let me go longer than 40 weeks pregnant.
My doctor won't let me have a VBAC.
My doctor won't let me have a normal, intervention-free birth.

Your doctor does not have power over you. Your doctor is your employee. Your vagina is yours. Do not give away the power you have over your own body to doctors, midwives, nurses or hospitals. Use your employees to give you information so that you can make decisions should they arise. Your doctor won't "let" you? Find another doctor. Better yet, hire a midwife. No matter who you hire, you still do not have to ask permission to use your own vagina.

Six Years

Six years ago, my first child was born. It was also my first surgical birth. I have since gone on to have one hospital VBAC, and another baby born at home (called an HBAC). Even so, I still think about that day often. It was the birth of my son. Certainly a joyous occasion. The aftermath of the surgery left me angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, anxious, and in physical pain that lasted for months.

Someone said recently that looking at a cesarean birth negatively is not helpful. That it accomplishes nothing. It was suggested that cesarean mothers should focus on the idea that we made the best decision at the time.

The last six years I have experienced a roller coaster of emotions. Every step of this path has been fruitful. The journey I have undertaken has made me a very different person than I was before my first child was born. I would have done a great disservice to myself and my future children if I had brushed aside my feelings of guilt, loss and anger. I would have denied myself the power of doing better when I know better.

If I had never processed my feelings about the birth I very likely would have been cut two more times. I would have continued my blind faith in the medical profession. I am a much stronger person now, not only for giving birth instead of being delivered, but also for educating myself on how the choices I made affected the outcome of the birth. Because in my case I did NOT make the best decision at the time.

Block

I started this blog to continue my journey of healing and hopefully encourage other women to challenge the birth climate in the US today. I have so many emotions and thoughts that I want to share. They are all swirling inside of me seeking an outlet. The problem is there are so many issues about birth that I can't seem to find where to start. I am at an impasse.

Whatever must be said will find it's way out in time.

Paradigm Shift

When I first learned that my surgical birth was actually an unecessarean, I blamed myself. I did not read enough books, I did not educate myself on the normal course of pregnancy, labor and birth. I took a Saturday class at the local hospital that only taught me how to be a good patient. I blindly trusted my doctor oblivious that the obstetrical model of care doubled my risk of surgical birth (at the time, with the current cesarean rate that risk is currently triple). Unaware of how the choice in care provider is literally a gamble. At the time of my first pregnancy, the cesarean rate was about 25%. Those are pretty good odds in favor of a surgical birth, but I had no clue that it was even a real risk. I didn't even know the rate!

I spent years thinking the doctor and nurses valiantly tried to keep me out of the operating room. They tried to turn my baby, they applied fundal pressure to assist my pushing efforts, they used forceps to try to turn him. His little body just couldn't handle the stress after abnormal pitocin contractions all day long. They were so caring and concerned about the path we were traveling. Even the anesthesiologist was apologetic that I was being put under general anesthesia for my first birth. I'll never forget the look of sadness on his face.

Then came the understanding that all of the events leading to the surgery were not necessary. That they are done only because of their medical views of pregnancy and birth. They view it as a pathology. Every pregnant woman is a ticking time bomb and disaster is just a moment away. I later learned that there is another model of care for pregnancy and birth. The midwifery model of care. Pregnancy and birth are not viewed as a pathology. Rather, it is viewed as a normal physiological function of the female body. Birth is not an illness.

With this realization, the anger set in. I was angry that I was not given informed consent. Technically, I never really consented to anything. The doctor told the nurse to do this, this and this, then turned to me and informed me what they were doing. Even when it looked like surgery was imminent, she did not talk to ME, but to the hospital staff when she said "I may need to section her." Where was the informed consent? When she started the unnecessary interventions? Why wasn't I told that my chance of a cesarean birth as a first-time mother was 50% when induction methods are used? Why were induction interventions used simply because my amniotic fluid started leaking only an hour prior? Why wasn't I told how an epidural could affect my labor? Why wasn't I told how all of these things could affect the baby's position in the birth canal? Why wasn't I told that known side effects of pitocin are fetal distress and neonatal jaundice, two things that impacted the birth and the immediate postpartum period?

Why was informed consent denied? This was not an emergent situation, just how this particular doctor "likes to do things." I know I am not alone. I hear story after story after story of women who were not given true informed consent. It ranges from not being fully informed to using scare tactics to performing procedures without consent.

The cesarean rate has now surged to 1 out of every 3 births. That is simply unacceptable and it's time that women stood up for their right to a better birth.

What is a VBACtivist?

VBAC + activist = VBACtivist
A proponent of VBAC. One who works toward supporting mothers that choose VBAC. One who helps provide accurate information about VBAC.

What is a VBAC? Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. The next question some might have is "Is VBAC safe?" The answer is a resounding yes. So why then is it necessary to promote VBAC as a choice for women? Because VBAC is becoming harder and harder to come by. Hospitals and doctors are refusing to "allow" VBACs. If it's so safe, then why is the medical community against it? Several reasons, the largest of which are money and convenience. Unfortunately, the medical community's guidelines are often influenced by litigation. This critiques the ACOG recommendations for VBAC and explains why the VBAC bans are not evidence-based.

The cesarean birth rate is soaring with no signs of slowing down. The CDC recently reported a 30.2% cesarean birth rate. This same report, according to Fox News, also showed

America's 2004 infant mortality rate was 6.79 infant deaths per 1,000 live births. That's not statistically different than the 6.84 infant mortality rate in 2003 -- a rate worse than that reported for Cuba.

Somehow I can't seem to understand how exactly our soaring cesarean birth rate is helping the US be a safe place to birth a baby.